Why Grief Intensifies During the Holidays (And How to Cope)

Understanding Why Grief Feels Worse During the Holiday Season—and Practical Ways to Navigate It

The holiday season often brings images of joy, celebration, and family togetherness. But for anyone experiencing loss, this same season can be one of the most emotionally challenging times of the year. If you’ve noticed that your grief feels heavier during the holidays, you’re not alone. Many people report a significant increase in sadness, loneliness, and emotional overwhelm from November through January.

In this article, you’ll learn why grief intensifies during the holidays and realistic ways to cope with the emotional weight of this time of year.

Why Grief Feels Worse During the Holidays

Holiday Traditions Highlight What’s Missing

Holiday rituals—meals, gatherings, songs, decorations—are tied to memory. When someone you love is no longer here, these traditions can become painful reminders of their absence.

Seasonal Expectations Create Emotional Pressure

Cultural messaging tells us the holidays should be “merry and bright.” For those grieving, this creates a disconnect between internal experience and external expectations. That contrast can make grief feel even more intense.

Memories Are Stronger This Time of Year

The holiday season often carries deep emotional memories. These memories can resurface with unexpected intensity, amplifying grief.

Loneliness and Isolation Increase

Even when surrounded by people, grief can create emotional isolation. Seeing others celebrate and appear joyful can deepen feelings of loneliness or longing.

Year-End Reflection Brings Emotions to the Surface

As the year ends, it’s natural to reflect on what has changed. For those grieving, this reflection can highlight loss and intensify sadness. This can be particularly hard if this is your first holiday season after your loved one's death.

How to Cope With Grief During the Holidays

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Your Emotions

You don’t have to feel joyful just because it’s the holiday season. Allowing yourself to experience sadness, anger, numbness, or confusion is a crucial part of coping with grief.

2. Adjust or Redefine Traditions

Traditional routines may feel too painful, and that’s okay. Consider keeping the rituals that bring comfort and changing or skipping the ones that don’t. Ideas include:

• Lighting a candle for your loved one

• Making a favorite family recipe

• Starting a new tradition in their honor

• Going on a trip instead of participating in the traditional festivities

  
  

3. Set Boundaries Around Social Events

You don’t have to attend every gathering. Give yourself permission to decline invitations or leave early if you feel overwhelmed.

4. Connect With People Who Understand

Talking to others who have experienced loss can provide validation and support. Support groups—online or in-person—can be especially helpful this time of year. Psychotherapy with a grief therapist is also a way to find support with someone who can sit with all of your big feelings.

5. Prioritize Physical and Emotional Self-Care

Grief affects both the body and mind. Small habits can support your well-being:

• Getting enough rest

• Eating nourishing foods

• Moving your body gently

• Creating moments of calm

  
  

6. Allow Yourself Joy Without Guilt

Moments of happiness don’t diminish your grief or your connection to the person you lost. Joy and grief can exist together, even during the holidays.

You’re Not Alone in Feeling Holiday Grief

If your grief feels sharper during the holiday season, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not failing or “doing the holidays wrong.” You’re responding to a time filled with memories, meaning, and emotional weight. Be gentle with yourself. Grief is an ongoing experience, and navigating the holidays with tenderness and compassion is an act of strength.

If you need support during this difficult time, Marina Resa at Marina Resa Therapy is available to help.