Disenfranchised Grief: What Is It and How Does It Impact Healing?

Grief is a universal experience, yet it can often feel isolating and overwhelming. While people are familiar with the concept of grief following the death of a loved one, many individuals are left to feel that isolation, confusion & despair typically assoicated with grief even more when they experience what is known as disenfranchised grief.

What Exactly is Disenfranchised Grief?

Disenfranchised grief refers to the grief that individuals experience when their loss is not acknowledged or validated by society. This can happen for a variety of reasons, including societal norms, cultural beliefs, or the nature of the relationship with the deceased. For example, someone grieving the loss of a pet may feel their grief is minimized compared to someone mourning a human family member.

The term was first introduced by Dr. Kenneth Doka, a prominent figure in the field of grief studies. He emphasized that disenfranchised grief can lead to a lack of support, making it more challenging for individuals to process their emotions and find healing.

What are some examples of disenfranchised grief?

Disenfranchised grief can manifest in several forms. Basically, any type of loss that is not fully supported by society fits the bill. Here are some common types:

1. Loss of a Pet

The bond between humans and their pets can be incredibly strong. However, society often does not recognize the depth of this relationship. As a result, individuals grieving the loss of a pet may feel their grief is dismissed or trivialized. They may be told things such as, "You should just get another pet," even though nobody would ever tell someone who just lost their spouse to just "get another one."

2. Non-Death Losses

Grief is not limited to death. People can experience grief from various non-death losses, such as divorce, loss of a job, loss of items via theft or natural disaster, financial loss, changes in mobility or health, or the end of a significant relationship. For example, a life altering falling out with a dear friend is a profound loss and yet many people feel isolated as they navigate the pain. Although these losses can be painful, they will unlikely receive the same acknowledgment as a death, leading to disenfranchised grief.

3. Stigmatized or Business Relationships

Grief can also be disenfranchised when the relationship itself is stigmatized or secretive. For instance, individuals grieving the loss of a partner from a marital affair may face challenges finding an empathetic ear. Similarly, those mourning the loss of a loved one due to addiction or suicide may encounter stigma that complicates their grieving process.

4. Ambiguous Loss

Ambiguous loss occurs when there is no clear resolution to a loss, such as a loved one going missing or suffering from a debilitating illness. This type of loss can leave individuals feeling stuck in their grief, as they may not have the closure typically associated with death.

5. Pregnancy Loss or an Adoption That Never Went through

With this type of loss, the griever may have dreamed of an entire future with their baby or child, but society doesn't quite understand how they can be attached to someone they have never met.

A Bouquet of Sympathy Flowers is a Common Courtesy Rarely Given to Those Experiencing Disenfranchised Grief

The Impact of Disenfranchised Grief on Healing

Disenfranchised grief can significantly impact an individual's healing process. When grief is not acknowledged, it can lead to a range of emotional and psychological challenges. Here are some ways disenfranchised grief can affect healing:

1. Isolation and Loneliness

Individuals experiencing disenfranchised grief often feel isolated and alone. The lack of acknowledgment from others can create a sense of loneliness, making it difficult to seek support or share their feelings. This isolation can exacerbate feelings of sadness , despair and shame.

2. Complicated Grief

Disenfranchised grief can lead to complicated grief, where individuals struggle to move forward due to unresolved feelings. This can manifest as prolonged sadness, anger, or guilt, making it challenging to find closure and heal.

3. Emotional Suppression

When grief is not validated, individuals may feel pressured to suppress their emotions. This emotional suppression can lead to a range of mental health issues, including anxiety and depression. It can also hinder the natural grieving process, making it harder to come to terms with the loss.

4. Difficulty in Finding Support

Individuals experiencing disenfranchised grief may find it challenging to seek support from friends, family, or support groups. The fear of being misunderstood or dismissed can prevent them from reaching out, further complicating their healing journey.

Conclusion

Disenfranchised grief is complex and often overlooked. By understanding what it is and how it impacts healing, we can create a more supportive environment for those experiencing this type of grief. Acknowledging the validity of all forms of grief, fostering open conversations, and providing compassionate support can help individuals navigate their healing journey. Remember, grief is a personal experience, and everyone deserves the space and support to grieve in their own way, no matter the loss.

Understanding disenfranchised grief is the first step toward healing. By recognizing and validating our own experiences and those of others, we can foster a culture of empathy and support that allows everyone to heal.

If you are experiencing disenfranchised grief, consider reaching out to a therapist who understands the complexities and uniques challenges you are facing. Marina Resa LMFT is here to help provide a space to heal.